Ubi Amor, Ibi Dolor
by Sophe.Scribit
Summary: A novel about politics, society, love, and friendship with a smidgen of adventure and war.
1. Prologue

Caesar found her. He loves telling the story, especially to guests who had no polite way of excusing themselves. She was maybe seven or eight years old, and correcting graffiti for grammatical errors. The Legion was making its way East from Flagstaff and her little village was in the way. "Morte ut Legion!" had been scribbled on a large brick wall in anticipation to the Legion's arrival, and in the middle of the chaos and fear, a little girl stood on her tiptoes writing over the words with some homemade paint. Her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth and the way Caesar tells it, she was irresistible enough for him to wander over. She thinks he was just going to call for the guards before returning her to the center of town to be sorted into slave groups, but that her actions made him curious. Caesar tells everyone who hears the story that she turned to look at him and informed him, Caesar, that the artist in question was using the prepositional phrase, and was clearly using the incorrect cases of the nouns. A non-Latin reader or speaker could probably figure it out, but they shouldn't have to. "Mors Legioni". Caesar's favorite part of the story is when she paused and asked him if perhaps it should be legionibus. She doesn't remember being quite so pedantic.

Caesar doesn't tell the part of the story where he brought her back to the main part of town and her father had been killed. Apparently the military focused individuals of the Legion didn't appreciate an academic. Bellona wanted to yell at them that some of the greatest emperors of the Roman Empire they tried to model themselves after were also some of the greatest thinkers. Caesar also doesn't repeat the part of the tale where he dropped her in front of a young Decanus, Vulpes Inculta. There is no part of the story that includes the Decanus, maybe ten years older than she, resenting being assigned the role of baby sitter. The Decanus wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and made her march slightly hunched over. For her part, she accidently on purpose smashed the sole of her shoes against his ankle until they managed an unhappy compromise – she kept up with him, she said nothing, and he didn't feel a need to "guide" her.

Caesar most certainly doesn't tell the part of the story where she silently cried herself to sleep every night with Vulpes close enough to remind her that she couldn't leave. He doesn't say that Vulpes, who should have reported her crying, kept her tears a secret. He never shares that the young man would reach across their bedrolls and rub her back until the tears stopped and sleep began. What Caesar does say, was that she could only be better child if she was a boy. Then he reminds everyone that he is Caesar and if he wishes to name her his daughter and to allow her to stay in camp as opposed to being sent away, then he will do so.

Caesar ends his story by telling everyone that he initially planned for her to marry his chosen heir. Then Caesar winks and says that it might still happen without any interference from him. He would always smile at her and reach out to hold her hand at the last part, when he told his guests that Bellona surprised him. Not only was she intelligent, but she was also athletic, and very capable. A man could not be more proud of his daughter if she had come from his loins. Then Caesar looks around at his guests and says that no man would ever be able to find fault in his wife, if she was his wife.

Fourteen years after Caesar found her, Vulpes was still very much her babysitter, he just didn't mind it anymore. They ran together every day, a habit started from when Bellona was a little girl and had more energy than sense. She convinced Vulpes to run around the large camp with her and Vulpes agreed with the caveat that the moment she could no longer keep up was they moment she never asked again. Bellona never had a problem keeping up. It was during their runs that Bellona would advise him on how to use charm and not just subterfuge to achieve his goals. She orchestrated his move to the Frumentarii and manipulated her father's interest in Vulpes. Vulpes Inculta's rise within the Legion would have happened anyway, Bellna just encouraged it to happen more quickly than expected.

For Vulpes part, the night they celebrated her eighteenth birthday he stopped taking slaves to his tent, took her virginity, and then took her as his lover, all without Caesar's knowledge.

Bellona's looks were the opposite of Vulpes'. She had long blond hair she wore in a single braid down her back, she hid her curves beneath black leather armor, and flashed her daggers as though they were pistols and her pistols as though they were daggers. Freckles splashed over her nose and cheeks and she almost always had a smile, though it was never genuine. (Unless a recruit was under the impression that since she was a woman, she was fair game – then the smile turned into a feral grin as she separated the recruit from his member with one of her daggers and then, just because she could, the recruit usually found his own member in his mouth before he bled out.) Vulpes was all angles, high cheekbones, sinewy, tall, and dark hair, and he never smiled. His skin was pale and he sunburned, she tanned easily and her skin was almost always bronze. She teased him that he was more vain than any of the favorite slaves in the camp since his armor and appearance was meticulous. He was in awe of the effortless ease of command she carried, even when attired in dusty armor. He would just smile his half smile at her and she couldn't stop her lips from curling up into a genuine smile that always reached the center of her eyes.

Appearances were where their dissimilarities ended. All of the horror inflicted on the land they conquered from Flagstaff was attributed to Vulpes, but Bellona was responsible for at least a third of it. She left bodies, presents for him, with evidence of torture. He left bodies, presents for her, crucified along roads. Once, a man had touched her ass while she was visiting Nipton. Vulpes had witnessed it and made note of it. When they took over the town, the man was the first one crucified and Vulpes gave Bellona the man's hand. She was twenty three and he was thirty three.

And then her world fell apart. Her father died. He had hidden from her just how sick he really was, and then Legatus Lanius stole the laurel wreath from Caesar's head before Bellona or Lucius could place it over Vulpes' head. He would have tried to steal Bellona as well, but Lucius and Vulpes were faster. They pulled Bellona away from her father's deathbed and ran away from the camp, dragging her reluctantly behind them. Somehow Lanius had convinced the Courier to help him and it was all but guaranteed that the Legion would take the Dam and then New Vegas.

Lanius wouldn't be happy with Bellona slipping through his fingers. Even with the Courier's help, he would have to wait until New Vegas was secure before going after Bellona. Vulpes planned on it being too late.


	2. Bellona I

I looked up from the packs I was working on, trying to distribute the weight of our goods evenly between all three. Vulpes and Lucius were looking at maps. One man would point to a spot and the other would come up with reasons why we couldn't possibly hole up in the pointed out location. And then they would reverse roles. It was slightly entertaining, but I decided that the debate had gone on long enough. They were leaning towards the old Brotherhood of Steel bunker as it seemed to have the least amount of protests associated with it. I slipped up against Vulpes and wrapped my arm around his waist, using it as leverage to pull myself to closer to him. Lucius knew about us, I was never sure if Vulpes told him or if Lucius was just more observant than others, so I didn't bother to hide my affections. I raised myself up on my tiptoes and kissed his neck, flicking the tip of my tongue against his skin. I was about to issue a command hidden as a suggestion and Vulpes was still a man of the Legion and I was still a woman.

I tapped a spot on the map. "There's a vault by the trading post. We head to the vault, meet up with whomever you have coming, and being that close to the trading post means we won't have to move right away." I tried to slip away from him, but he held me against his body using my wrist and arm. "Regardless of where you decide to go, NCR is close by and the Legion under Lanius could feasibly stumble across me."

Lucius and Vulpes shared a look then Vulpes looked at me, "you sure you can find the vault?" He'd taken my suggestion, as I knew he would, but they had to go through the motions of it not being the idea of woman.

"No, but I know it's by the trading post and along the northeast side of the dry lake." I grinned up at him and made a mental note to try to at least give in a little easier the next time Vulpes wanted something from me.

The sun was just coming up when the we skulked away from the campground. Somehow we managed to avoid the NCR troops hidden around the area and make it to the trading post before the sun could raise high enough in the sky to rain its heat down on us. It wasn't the heat that was dangerous for us, it was instead the danger of dehydration, when we ran we didn't have time to grab enough water to wander around indefinitely. Vulpes decided to try the trading post for water, so Lucius and I started heading south to see if we could find some sign that would lead us to the vault .

I found an overgrown path, and loitered around the mouth until Lucius noticed it. It was frustrating, but men liked to be men and Legion men were ingrained with the concept that women were not of the same caliber as men, even daughters of Caesar. By the time Lucius had convinced himself that this was indeed the right path that would lead to the vault, Vulpes had caught up with us.

"Any problems?" It didn't matter how many times I looked at him, the fluttering in my stomach never went away. There were plenty of attractive men in the Legion, but none of them commanded undivided attention so easily. His movement were always deliberate, even when he was just standing still looking at Lucius. I felt my tongue moistening my lips before I even realized I was doing it and I took a deep breath. Now was not the time to think about every other deliberate move he made.

"No women." Vulpes pressed his hand into the middle of my back and I leaned against him. His touch was reassuring to me when I realized the implications of his observation. I could feel the warmth from his hand and was certain that if I could see my skin, it would be marked by the heat of his touch.

I lifted my chin towards the path. Vulpes led the way and Lucius took up the rear with me in the middle. It was unspoken that they would protect me. I pushed down the thoughts that were invading my mind, that if they were any other men, but Legion, it would be sweet. But these were Legion men and it was an unconscious act of chauvinism. I gritted my teeth to keep from vocally protesting and reminded myself that I was going to give in graciously for his relative ease of acceptance for my plan to head to the vault.

The outer door to the vault was cracked open and we opened it just enough for Lucius' massive frame to be able to slip through. Before the men could begin the debate of whether to close the door behind us, we ran into a little welcoming committee. A few mutated insects, easily disposed of with clean shots, and then the entry was relatively safe. The inner vault door was sealed and Vulpes began working on the terminal to unlock it while Lucius and I pilfered through the scavenged remains for anything even slightly potentially useful.

Vulpes flipped the terminal off and turned around to look at me. My back might have been to him, but I could feel his gaze on me. I stopped rummaging and looked over my shoulder at him. Again, the fluttering warmth grew out from my stomach. He wore his glasses, but I could still see his nearly grey eyes as clearly as I could see his jaw tense when his mouth clenched or the way his muscles rippled beneath his skin in anticipation of movement. He pulled off his glasses and stared at me. Normally, I could return and hold his stare indefinitely, but this time the burden of his gaze was too much and I returned to my rummaging. I willingly gave so much of me to him, and yet I couldn't give him that final inkling of vulnerability. He saw it. I know he did. I didn't even stop to think about why I thought I needed to hide it from him.

I bit my bottom lip and considered the implication. Was I turning into the very woman that Vulpes Inculta despised? Caesar became my father after the Legion murdered my own, and now that Caesar was gone, did I want Vulpes to take that role? I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts from them, I didn't want to think about it. Besides, they weren't true. These were just doubts brought about by grief. I must have been so intent on my thoughts that I hadn't realized Vulpes was standing behind me until I felt his fingers on the back of my neck. He reached down with his other hand and pulled me up until I was standing. Even then he kept his hand on my neck, his fingers gently massaging me.

He pressed his lips against my temple and whispered under his breath. His words just for me. "Fillia Martis, semper mea Bellona."

I closed my eyes and let his words wash over me and serve their intended purpose. I was his, I would always be his. That would have to be enough for now.

"Bell, Lucius and I are going to clear out the rest. You stay." He spoke in a normal tone, loudly enough for Lucius to hear.

"But." My hand immediately went to my dagger. I looked between Lucius and Vulpes, I didn't want to look weak, I couldn't look weak.

"Stay."

I hated that tone of his. The only reason I wasn't offended with the command was that I had heard him use the exact same tone with his Frumentaii. It was his 'don't argue with me, because you will lose and the consequences of arguing with me will be very unpleasant' tone. He had used that tone with me only a handful of times outside of his tent. In his tent, that tone took on an entirely different meaning. Again a warmth spread through me, but this time I squelched it. He wouldn't be able to dampen it anytime soon and it didn't help us if I was distracted by thoughts that weren't directly related to our immediate survival.

I realized defeat and nodded my head. Vulpes rewarded my obedience with a brush of his fingers across the nape of my neck and I swallowed a moan.


	3. Vulpes I

I stared at her until she looked up at me. My Bellona was beautiful even in despair, the problem was that she didn't realize she was in despair. She always had a hint of amusement hidden beneath her deadly demeanor, as if she understood this great cosmic joke that no one else realized existed. But that light, that flicker, was gone. My concern grew even more when she couldn't hold my stare. Even as a little girl she would refuse to look away, but that trace of defiance was gone. That defiance was one of the traits defining her. If she lost it, we lost her, and that was not acceptable.

When she looked away from me, I looked at Lucius. He was busy, or at least pretending to be busy, being interested in what looked like nothing more than trash. With his attention elsewhere, I moved to her. It wouldn't be fair to her, but if we were going to survive it, I needed to exploit the one weakness I knew she had. I didn't stop to think of the consequences, I would deal with those later, assuming we had a later.

As soon as I spoke to her, I could see some of the her resolve return. Enough for me to feel secure in leaving her behind in the entry way. I could feel her blood move beneath my fingers and I closed my eyes for a moment. She had a way of doing that to me, of making me want her no matter where we were. Half of the fun was the anticipation of not being able to and then trying to find that one spot where we were hidden, where Bellona the daughter of Mars, became my Bellona. I wondered briefly if that would change now that there was no longer a reason to hide.

Of course those feelings had to go away if I was going to tell her the next part. As expected, she resisted and I resorted to the voice. It was the only way I knew that I could get her to do what I needed without it turning into a fight that would go for at least a half hour before she finally relented anyway. My Bellona was predictable.

Lucius, probably figuring that we wouldn't skip over the fight, nodded his head to me and headed into the vault. I took advantage of the few moments we had alone and ran my hands down her arms. My fingers gripped hers and I pressed her arms behind her back. I leaned down to kiss her. It wasn't the kiss I wanted to give her and I was sure that it wasn't the kiss that she wanted to recieve, but I couldn't leave the clearing of the vault to Lucius alone.

Reluctantly I pulled away and left her behind in the front entrance, just behind the closed door. She would be safe enough and if anyone was curious and decided to check out the Vault, I was certain that Bellona could handle them, at least until we could get back to her. I didn't know what we would find further into the vault and all things considered I wanted to keep her as sheltered from any additional trauma until I was certain that she could put the death of her father and Lanius' treachery behind her. She might punish me for it later, but we couldn't afford to have her break down.

"The terminal says that there was some fighting, but from the reports, we shouldn't find anything worse than some old skeletons." I caught up to Lucius.

"She can handle skeletons, Vulpes."

"No she can't, not right now."

Lucius didn't say anything, but he raised an eyebrow and gave me a look. Bellona was not the type of woman to appreciate being protected, she was the type of woman who threw the head of the man who offended me at my feet. She was the type of woman who took out every member at the NCR's propaganda team because she wasn't happy with the image they used of me in their posters. I knew what Lucius would have said, 'when she regains some of her composure, you will be a near dead man', but it was a risk that I had already calculated and was willing to take.

The most dangerous creature we encountered was a radsacoprion, but we did stumble across a mass grave site. We emptied out a store room and replaced everything with the bones. I couldn't clean up the blood stains, but at least she wouldn't see any reminders of death. Lucius started sorting the goods into separate piles while I double checked that the side rooms, the rooms we would be sleeping in, were clear.

"Some of the Frumentarii will be arriving tomorrow. You need to get back to Legatus Lanius." I didn't really want Lucius to leave, but he had already risked enough, more than enough actually and he would be able to come up with a believable enough excuse for his absence.

"I don't like leaving you two alone, Vulpes, especially now." He didn't have to add, now that Bellona is about one step away from completely losing her mind and that the thought of psychotic Bellona frightened him more than sociopathic Bellona.

"You will be branded a traitor, Lucius." I grasped my friend's forearm. "I would not have you killed because I didn't act when I had the opportunity." He returned the gesture with a smile.

Lucius stood up from his sorting and claimed one of the side rooms by throwing his pack into it. "There was no opportunity, Vulpes, Lagatus Lanius had planned for this and apparently found help with a prolifigate." Lucius leaned back and looked through the door at me. "I would be killed regardless of me helping you escape or not." The older man smiled suddenly, "besides, she needs a Praetorianus."

I hadn't expected him to take the invitation to leave, but I needed to give him the option. If Lucius stayed it had to be because he stated his want and not because I or Bellona asked him. I nodded my head and smiled. I didn't need to thank him. He knew. I threw my pack into one of the larger rooms, noting with pleasant surprise that it was as far from Lucius' room as possible. The bedrolls could wait until I brought Bellona back. I looked around the room, making mental notes of the structure of the room for later. My plans for Bellona included a restful sleep and short of letting her annihilate a town, I only had a few options to bring her to a place of peace since alcohol and drugs were off limits.

When I returned to the entrance, I was welcomed with the most amazing sight. Bellona, on her knees and bent down over her legs while reading. I much preferred without clothing when she was in that position, but I couldn't deny that the sight of her ass, especially covered in the tight leather pants, was enough for me to postpone our return to the inner vault.


	4. Bellona II

_AN: All translations can be found at the end of the chapter. An explicit version can be found at AO3 Chapter 4 - Bellona. I can also be found on tumblr, where you can find Extended Author Notes_

**Bellona**

Apparently books weren't desirable items, since I found a few boxes full of them. The best part about the desert was that books didn't rot. I found a complete copy of all three volumes of The Lord of the Rings and decided that if I was going to have to wait, I might as well be entertained. A quick analysis of the area and I found a spot where I had a clear line of sight of the outer vault door and yet would remain hidden from any unfortunate wanderer.

I must have let my mind drift, or maybe the thirtieth page describing the shire lulled me into a near trance state. Apparently there were a lot of words for hills, green, and hobbit holes and Tolkien wanted to utilize every single one at least twice. I was busy reading about Hobbits when I felt his hand on my neck. I didn't bother to turn my head to look at him, I knew Vulpes' touch better than I knew my own. His fingers were gentle but firm as he lifted me to my feet.

With one hand still on my neck, he used his other hand to push down on my shoulders, "Hands on the railing."

The tone of his voice sent a shiver down the length of my spine. He never raised his voice, instead it was the opposite, soft but coated with a combination of lust and menace. I didn't hesitate and reached out in front of me to grab the cool metal. My torso was angled between being parallel to the ground and completely upright and I lifted my backside up towards him, arching my back.

The hand on my shoulders moved to my hips and unbuttoned my pants almost too easily. I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes, as if that would help me maintain slow even breathing. He finally removed his hand from my neck and pulled my pants down. I could sense his growing impatience as he roughly pulled the pants off with my boots and tossed them aside. He used his foot to kick my legs apart until my feet were about shoulders' width apart.

I didn't know what to expect, but my body knew that whatever his plans were, I would enjoy it. So when three fingers roughly pushed inside of me, they slid through a growing wetness without any resistance, but for my natural tightness. I groaned softly from the pleasure of feeling any part of him inside of me. I felt his breath on the side of my neck and ear before I heard his soft chuckle. My body responded and tightened around his fingers.

"You are mine, mea fillia Martis."

His fingers slid from me and I whimpered involuntarily and pressed back, seeking his touch. When his fingers returned, they gripped my hips. Even though I craved his touch, this wasn't where I wanted him to touch me. Before my mind could catch up with his intentions, I could feel him step behind me and then slam all the way into me.

I started to bend forward, but he moved his hand to my hair and he used my braid to pull my head and body back against his chest. The hand on my hip slid around and his finger gently teased me. The hand in my hair moved under my arm and across my chest, and I was grateful for the support. Without his arm, my knees would have buckled. He knew how to touch me, exactly how to use my body to achieve the responses he desired.

Again, his voice was in my ear struggled into my mind, fighting through the clouds of lust and need. "You. Are. Mine." He pulled out and slammed back into me with each word and it was all I could do to keep my hands on the railing. Granted it was only my fingertips, but I had not removed them despite desperately wanting to reach back and wrap my arms around his neck.

We could both sense my approaching climax and he pulled his fingers away from me, returning his hand to gripping my hip. He bit down on my neck where it joined my shoulder and I tilted my head to the side, offering more skin to his teeth, lips, and tongue.

Suddenly his fingers in both hands tightened even more so, no doubt they would leave bruises behind on my skin. "This. Is. Mine." Again, a thrust emphasized each word.

I could feel his orgasm, the way the muscles in his stomach flexed and he twitched inside of me, and I desperately tried to chase it. I was so close, so near the point of having my own orgasm when he pulled out of me and let his hands drop from my body.

I threw my head back and wailed softly, "noooo." That I kept my hands on the rail and didn't move my feet or body, was testament to the control he had over me. I was close enough that I could have rubbed myself and had an orgasm in seconds, but I didn't. For a brief moment I hated him.

"Get dressed."

I cursed under my breath, but pulled my pants back on. I didn't even bother to clean him from my thighs. Once I had my boots on he turned me around so that I was facing him and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He pulled me close against his chest and kissed the top of my head. He was a tall man, not nearly as tall as Lanius, but my body fit comfortably against his, my head just hitting his shoulders when I slightly bent my neck. My arms went around his waist and I returned his embrace. He wasn't as broas as Lucius, but his chest and shoulders were wide enough to give me a sense of security.

I looked up at him, not sure what I expected, but it wasn't his smile. There was a sadness in his eyes that he tried to hide with his smile, but I saw it, despite his attempt of camouflaging it. He bent his head down and his lips pressed against mine. His tongue was gentle as it begged entry and I parted my mouth willingly. I clung to him with a desperation I didn't realize I had. A wave of fear washed over me, fear of losing his touch, fear of never feeling his arms around me, and the utmost terror of never kissing him again. My lips and tongue grew with an urgency and Vulpes met my own hunger.

I didn't know if he shared in my fears. I didn't even know that he was conscience of what motivated my sudden need to be as close to him as possible. The man who should have been the Son of Mars, who should have the laurel wreath of Caesar on his head knew what I needed before I knew it. He knew me better than I knew myself.

_mea fillia Martis - my daughter of Mars_


	5. Vulpes II

Extended Author Notes here

All Latin is translated at the end the chapters.

When I pulled away from her lips I smiled down at her. "Meam es."

"Tuum sum, filius Martis" She looked up at me with the same green eyes that followed my every move when she was child. A fear and sadness I hadn't seen in years was seeping back into her demeanor. "Te amo, Vulpes Inculta"

"Tene amo, Bellona Caesar."

Eventually we separated from our embrace. It served no purpose to hold one another any longer, although I would have continued to hold her if she had protested.

"Get your pack." I knelt down to collect the books she had found and smiled. Whoever left the books behind had eclectic tastes, both fiction and nonfiction and even some ancient histories. When I saw the book she had placed at the bottom of the pile, I had to laugh. Gaius Plinius Secundus. Bellona loved to read Pliny the Elder's studies to me, primarily because she knew that he frustrated me, but this book was new to our growing collection. This book was a heavy volume, his Natural Histories, and was probably filled with many frustrating ideas. I punished her body and she punished my mind. We both reveled in the other's torment.

With the books almost overflowing my arms, I led her through the inner door. I would have to go back to rehack the terminal on the inside to relock the door. I also made a note that I would have to check to see if I could configure the terminal to notify us if someone tampered with the outside terminal. I wasn't sure how long we would stay, but I figured that we would probably return at some point. It was a good base of operations for the time being and it would remain after we moved on.

She didn't look around when we entered the main room. I thought that by preventing her orgasm I could keep her mind off of why we were in the Vault, but I had either overestimated the power of her need or underestimated the level of her arousal. I leaned towards the former since the latter would mean that I did not have as much control of her body as I had assumed and that was not an appealing thought.

Lucius watched us, well, probably more her than me, from the center of the large central room. He was further separating the foodstuffs we had. Three separate piles, one for food that would spoil sooner rather than later, one for instant and prepackaged goods – they would last longer, and the last seemed to be ingredients, things we wouldn't be able to eat without turning them into something else. I walked past Bellona and into the room I had claimed. There was a shelf on the wall by the door, high enough up that we wouldn't bang into it, but not too high for her to comfortably reach. I organized the books, alphabetically by author and then by size.

She was still standing in the center of the room staring at the floor. This wouldn't do. The Frumentarii would start to arrive soon – I had left a message, a drop no one else but a Frumentarius would recognize, at the trading post.

"Bellona." I resorted to using that special voice again. I'd have to be careful and not use it too frequently, but my current needs required it. She looked up at me when I called her name, as if she had just woken from a dream and tried to smile. I pushed down any desire to comfort her. Bellona only genuinely smiled for three men: her father, Lucius, and me. I wished we had time for her to mourn, but it would just have to wait until after she had ripped the laurel wreath from Lanius' head. It was my duty to make it sure it happened. I gestured to her with my head.

The pseudo smile remained as she walked across the room towards the door. She didn't cross the threshold, instead she pressed a hand against the door jam and leaned in. "When we take Vegas, we're taking over the Ultra Luxe."

"You'll get soft." I reached for her hand and pulled her into the room.

"You like me soft." She tossed her pack down next to mine.

I pushed her against one of the walls and leaned in to kiss her. My leg went between her thighs and I ground it slowly against her. My mouth swallowed her moans while I waited for her hips to undulate against me. Once I had her body's attention it took only a few moments to get to her the point I needed her at. I pressed one hand against her breast and used my other hand to hold her head. There were times when the smallest hint of restraint was enough to spike her arousal and I hoped that this was one of those times.

I slowly pulled away from her and pressed my forehead against hers. The little sound she made in her throat made me chuckle. "I like you pliant, not soft."

I kissed her forehead and focused on unpacking the packs and organizing our room. There were a few things that needed to remain in the packs, personal items that no one needed to accidently see. Out of the corner of my eyes I watched as she stood in front of the shelf and ran a finger along the spine of Pliny the Elder's book.

"Caesar's weakness was that he did not completely embrace the Roman Empire and all that it had to offer."

Satisfied with the results of the room, I dug into her pack for the leather bound journal she had made for herself and a pen she had also managed to craft. "Libres philosophorum capis." Her seemingly casual statement made me think about our plan. Initially we just ran to escape Lanius' grasp, but what would we do next? We had to determine the course of action that would bring us the greatest amount of followers and garner the most loyalty. Then once we seized power, we needed to be able to maintain it.

She pulled a few books from the shelf and headed out to the main room. I followed behind her and appreciated the view. Despite all her exercise, her ass was nice and round and deliciously plump and I very much enjoyed every bit of it.

Lucius looked up at us. "I found a large pot and rigged it into a stove."

I put the journal and pen on top of Bellona's book stack. "Tell Lucius what you said to me." I took my place by our interesting looking stove and started preparing a meal. It would be an early supper, but we hadn't eaten anything more than dried field rations and food would lift all of our spirits. Bellona sat down on the ground near me and spread the books in front of her. More often than not she'd use it against me.

"Rome was able to steal liberally from Greece, they took the ideas they believed to be the best and then added to them." She started opening the books to pages she had catalogued in her mind. It was one of her more unfortunate traits, she remembered almost everything she read. Not perfectly, but enough to be able to recall the information.

"And Caesar?"

"He embraced the portions of the Empire that he thought were advantageous." She opened her journal and started making notes. "At the time it was effective because he hadn't yet conquered 86 tribes and he hadn't yet considered expanding much beyond the tribal boundaries." She looked down at a page and frowned. "The idea of an Empire came after the foundation had already been established."

Lucius paused his task of chopping vegetables and looked up at her. "It was the easiest way to control the number of people in the Legion, slave and soldiers. And civilians seem alright with it."

"No, it offered the least resistance to start and then inertia just took over." She picked up a book and flipped to a page, "corruptissima re publica plurimae leges."

I loved it when she spoke Latin. The way the words rolled off her tongue, it was hard not to believe that we hadn't been somehow transported back to Ancient Rome. "It will only get worse under Lanius' reign."

She looked between us, before letting her gaze settle on me. I could see her mind working and knew that she was about to drop something on us. Since she looked at me and not at Lucius, I knew we weren't going to like it.

"We need to allow an easier path to citizenship. We also need to re-indoctrinate recruits that women are not lesser, they just serve a different, but as important role as men in the army."

I could have deflected her, but I knew that after a few rounds she would still win. I looked at Lucius, but remained silent. Lucius followed my lead and didn't protest.

"Women should be citizens, but not able to vote. And freedmen should be able to vote, but not hold any official office. Children of freedmen should be granted immediate citizenship."

She was writing her thoughts down almost as quickly as she was saying them. I wasn't sure how many would stick, in fact I was not unhappy with her direction, but I knew it would be difficult to get others to be so unconditionally loyal that they would agree. By the time we were ready to head to our bedrolls, we'd at least have a skeleton to start with.

"We need to convince the army that we are the better option, we need to establish ourselves as the True Rome, and Vulpes as the True heir to Caesar."

Lucius was waiting for me to say something, but my years with Bellona had taught me infinite patience. The more patient I was, the more energy she expounded, and the easier it was to handle her. Lucius didn't have my experience.

"We need slaves."

"I don't think we do, but I understand your belief that we do. We will continue to keep slaves, every expansion gives us slaves and not all slaves will be able to earn their freedom. Skilled slaves should be paid a pecuniam, unskilled slaves should be able to learn a skill when they aren't working." Bellona's forehead wrinkled and she waved her hand over the books, as though she could summon the pages by magic.

"When we take over the NCR in the region all military personal will be unskilled slaves." She looked up at Vulpes. "We decimate them. One in ten, then the other nine go into slavery and are separated to auction houses throughout our territory."

I smiled. Caesar had focused on reestablishing Rome, but had forgotten that Rome cost money. "And we get an income."

"There are other ways for income. Moderate taxes of course, all citizens will be required to pay them for the honor of being a Citizen of Caesar's Empire." She stared at her journal. She was avoiding our eyes, so I knew that we wouldn't be happy with her next suggestion.

"We establish a campus Martis and we build two temples there, one to Mars and one right next to it dedicated to Belonna. Additional temples throughout the territory: Venus Genetrix, Juno, Jupiter. We also need to encourage the use of household gods."

"Aren't Mars and Bellona enough?" Lucius frowned.

"He is the god of Rome hence his temple on the Campus Martis. Bellona is very much a soldier's Goddess. But Lucius, do we want a roving army or an Empire? If we want an Empire we must accept that we are more than just the Legion and we have to give reason for others to want to raise their children within our borders. Plus, Venus can bring Caesar's Empire income as well through her temples, and since women can become citizens they will need to be married, Venus is not the domain of marriage, that is Juno. And purely for symmetry's stake, a temple to Jupiter since he is the husband of Juno."

She bit her bottom lip, pulling it through her teeth and looked at me. I waited. She had a question she wanted to ask, but the answer might potentially frighten her. I focused on making our dinner while I waited. Lucius focused on dicing the vegetables into perfect squares. I added them to the cooking pot as quickly as he cut them.

I heard her take a breath and knew that she had finally decided that she wasn't as afraid of the answer as she initially thought. "Why did Caesar criminalize prostitution?"

"He couldn't have the Legion distracted."

She accepted my answer, even if we both knew it was merely a guess. "Templum Veneris will employ temple prostitutes. And when we establish our new Rome, prostitution will not be illegal."

I decided that I had let her have free reign long enough. "No prostitution, Bellona. You can't throw all of you father's edicts away just because you want to distance yourself from Lanius."

"Fine. But the temple will have priestesses and men can donate to the temple to receive blessings from Venus."

I spooned our dinner onto plates and handed them out. "Enough talk. Dinner, then bed, and we can continue to talk tomorrow."

While Lucius and I ate, I watched as Bellona pushed the food around on her plate and kept her attention on the books. She was a great actress, she had me convinced that I had distracted her from thinking about the loss of her father and her father's Legion in the same day. "Eat your dinner, Bell." I stared at her until I watched her take several bites. Only then did I return to my own dinner.

Meam es - you are mine  
Tuum sum, filius Martis - I am yours, son of Mars (i know that I should use the vocative here, but said screw it)  
Tene amo, Bellona Caesaris - And I love you, Bellona Caesar.  
Libres philosophorum capis - (you) take the books of the philosophers  
Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges – when the republic is at its most corrupt, the laws are most numerous  
pecuniam - coin/money  
Campus Martius - Field of Mars  
Venus Genetrix - Venus the Mother (I went with Venus the Mother because she's the mother of the founder of ancient Rome, but really this Venus is a combination between Venus Genetrix and Venus Erycina (basically prostitutes, lust, etc)  
Templum Veneris - the Temple of Venus  
De nobis fabula marrator - about us is the story told (their story is our story; comparing present with the past and the idea that we are all just repeating the same stories.)


	6. Interlude

Extended ANs can be found here. (They have the potential to have spoilers.) As always, comments are always welcome. If you don't feel comfortable commenting here, feel free to visit either LJ or Tumblr

She was ten, and he was twenty. She was still a girl and he was a man. He tolerated her because she was mostly quiet. She didn't try to have conversations with him, but she would occasionally ask questions. The girl enjoyed reading as much as the man did, but the available books were both too broad and too deep for her to fully comprehend so she relied on him to help clarify concepts.

She was thirteen, and he was twenty-three. Her body was shifting from the straight lines of childhood to the curves of womanhood. He was responsible for her well-being and leaving her behind in the tent when the Legion was deployed was no longer an option. He brought her along with him everywhere he went in camp, even visiting the baths. When he trained with weapons, she watched him. She didn't think that he noticed her stares, she always held her book up so that she could glance down at the pages when he looked at her. But what passed for subtly in a thirteen year old, was explicit for a twenty three year old. This went on for a week before he started training her in the art of killing another man.

She was sixteen, and he was twenty-six. She had a body count, almost as impressive as her body. He watched her now. She taught him the art of politics, eschewing the need to achieve one's ambitions on merit alone. He asked for her opinion almost as often as she volunteered it. Caesar had always looked favorably upon him, but now, with her assistance, Caesar favored him in front of all. He observed the way she touched other men. Only her finger tips would touch them and for the briefest of moments, but when she touched him, her hand lingered and she pressed her palm and fingers around his arm or shoulder. It was never long enough to raise suspicion, but it was long enough for him to notice. He ordered that she receive her own tent, placed immediately next to his. He also stopped bringing slaves to his tent. He would still visit them, although infrequently, but always in the tents of friends.

She was eighteen, and he was twenty-eight. It was the start of June, and her father ordered that the entire Legion celebrate her eighteenth birthday. Caesar sent over new armor. It was crafted similarly to the armor of the Legatus, a breast plate of a golden metal shaped to her body, a helmet, a blood red tunic, a leather kilt, and boots. Lucius sent her a sword and Lanius sent her a shield. He sent for a bath and priestesses came to her tent to help her prepare. He waited outside her tent until the priestesses left. He hadn't ever been inside of her tent, but entered through the flaps as if it was his own. Her legs, from the tops of the boots to the bottom of the kilt, were bare and he took a deep breath. The armorer had been bold, there were nipples shaped into the breasts, and the defined muscles at the stomach were decorated with a indentation representing her navel. He didn't speak, he didn't trust his voice. He held out his gift for her, a scourge; they had found writings of Virgil describing her namesake.

She looked at the heavy leather weapon in her hand. Leather thongs fastened into a thick leather handle around which her hand fit perfectly. The ends of the thongs were knotted, a few had pieces of broken glass fastened into the knots and some others used bits of metal, but most of the thongs were just knotted.

He waited with his arms down at his sides and hands making fists. He stared at her, not blinking, just watching her. Finally, she slowly lifted her face to look into his eyes. She asked him if he had made it. He nodded his head. She fastened it to her hip, opposite the sword. He took a step towards her and then another until he stood just in front of her. She looked back up at him, her green eyes bright, but her pupils were large. He pressed his hand to her cheek and she leaned into his touch. As his head bent down towards her, she tilted her head back and her lips parted in natural anticipation. He was gentle, but his mouth was demanding. It was her first kiss. She reached her hands up to him and he gently brought them back down to her sides. He pulled away from her. She tried to follow him.

He stepped away from her and held the tent flap open for her.

After the feast and celebration, she returned to her tent and he returned to his. She set down the shield, sword, and helmet, but kept the scourge on her hip. The camp was still loud, and she used the noise to camouflage any of her sounds as she belly crawled beneath the side of her tent and into his tent. He was sitting on his cot, his leather armor already stripped and meticulously placed against the small table in the corner. He saw her and crossed the floor. He reached down and pulled her up to her feet.

He was shirtless and bootless, standing there only in his kilt and she was still completely armored. Her lips parted and she took a breath. He was her running partner, her weapons' trainer, her bodyguard, and her first love, now she wanted to add lover to that list.

He lifted a hand and ran his thumb over the armor nipple, its flesh counterpart tightened as if it had been touched and he heard a soft keen escape from her mouth. He unfastened the scourge and tossed it aside. He unbuckled the breastplate and pulled it away from her body to rest it next to his leather armor. He returned to her and ran his thumb over the now tunic covered nipple. It tightened even more under his ministrations and the keen grew louder.

She reached out to him, wanting to place her hands on his bare skin, but he gently pushed her hands back down to her sides. She compromised by pressing her shoulders back. The right corner of his mouth crooked up as though he was attempting to smile. Her breasts were firm and lifted from youth and her movement made them stand out even more despite not having any form of support.

When Caesar announced the feast in her honor, he stopped his infrequent visit to the slaves. That was 6 months prior. A month before the celebration he had stopped any manual release in preparation of her birthday. When he made the decision to claim her, he also made the decision not to tarnish her purity with the taint of slaves. That she had come to his tent instead of him going to hers was a pleasant surprise.

He pulled the tunic up over her head and admired her naked torso. For the third time he ran his thumb over her nipple. For the first time flesh touched flesh. Her keens turned into a moan. The ignored nipple tightened in sympathy with its partner. He had seen her naked before of course, but once she started the metamorphosis into a woman, he transferred the responsibility of her hygiene to the priestesses. He was hard under his kilt. He had been hard since their first kiss and during the celebration his thoughts had only been about his plans for after the feast.

He kept his eyes locked on hers while his hands loosened her kilt. It slipped down her hips and dropped to the floor. He took one step back. She took a step forward out of the kilt. He let his gaze move from her eyes down the length of her body and grinned at the sight of her. The priestesses had prepared her, even though he had never requested it. All of the hair on her body, from below the neck, had been removed. He didn't think it was possible, but he grew even more hard. The tip of her tongue peeked out to moisten her lips so that they matched the lips below her waist.

He stepped aside and raised an arm to gesture to the cot. She sat at the cot, and bent down to remove her boots. He chuckled softly to himself; she kept her knees together. He stood in front of her and gently pressed her back down on the cot. He took her arms and placed them over her head, wrapping her fingers around the frame. Her breath caught in her throat.

He ran his finger down her arms, dragging them across her skin with the lightest of touches. He purposefully avoided her breasts, even when she lifted her back up from the cot trying to move into his touch. His forefinger circled around her navel, spirally outwards over the tight muscles fluttering under her skin, down over her hips, along the tops of her thighs until he reached her ankles and pulled them gently out to side. He let them drop down over the sides of the cot and bent her legs at the knees. He didn't want to cause her undue pain, at least not her first time.

He moved up between her legs and leaned over her to kiss her. She pulled her hands free from the frame and started to wrap her arms around his shoulders, but he gently returned them to their position. He sat back up and looked at her. She finally opened her eyes and looked up at him. Her green eyes stared into his eyes. They were so light blue that they were almost grey, but in the darkness of the tent they had turned to a shade closer to pewter. Her body trembled involuntarily. Her tongue moistened her lips again. Eventually she looked as though she were about to say something and he placed a finger over her lips and shook his head.

She maintained her gaze, neither wanting or able to look away from him. She nodded her head in understanding. He leaned back over her and in a whisper told her that she was a good girl. He dragged his fingers over her body again, but this time, he didn't avoid her beasts, he cupped them from underneath and ran his thumb over her nipples.

She lifted her ribcage and her head fell back, exposing her neck. He ran his tongue down the length of the vein in her neck to her collar bone. His mouth moved further down and he wrapped his lips around her nipple. He could taste the oil the priestesses had massaged into her skin and smirked. He flicked the tip of his tongue against it and was rewarded with her body pressing up against his. With great care, he gently bit her nipple only releasing the trapped nipple when he heard her breath catch. He kissed his way down her abdomen and across her hips.

He looked up at her to watch her facial expressions as his lips traversed her skin until his mouth hovered right over her clitoris. He pursed his lips together and blew and her hips bucked. He kept looking at her as his tongue stretched out to flick against her clit the same way it had against her nipple. Again she bucked. He could taste the scented oil there as well. He growled at the thought of someone else touching her, even priestesses. His patience broke and he lowered his mouth on her sex. He was driven to taste her. He held her hips down to keep her from pushing him off with the movements of her body.

He used his tongue to enter her, groaning as he felt just how tight she was and his thoughts wandered to how she would feel when he was inside of her. He returned his mouth's attentions to her clit, and slowly pushed a finger inside of her until he felt the resistance of a tattered membrane. He knew she was a virgin, but he hadn't expected it to be slightly intact. After all, she was an active young woman. He added a second finger and slowly moved them in and out, careful not to through the fragile membrane. He felt her tighten around his fingers, her muscles clenched around him as his lips, teeth, and tongue assaulted her clit. He wrapped his free arm across her stomach to hold her in place. She might not know what was coming, but he could clearly read all of the cues her body was giving.

He heard the quiet monas which accompanied her body's release. The entire time, he watched her face. He didn't think it was possible, but she was even more beautiful while climaxing. He pulled away from her and stood up. He removed his kilt. He knelt between her legs again and dragged a finger down between her breasts to just above her very beautiful and wet sex. Her body settled down under his touch and she managed to even out her breathing while she lifted her head to look up at hm.

He appraised her body, so soft and perfectly unmarred, and all his. If he had his way, it would always be his. He leaned down and kissed her, knowing that she would be able to taste herself on his lips and tongue. She hesitated at first, unsure of how she should respond, after all, he was the head of the frumentarii. He growled into her mouth, and she felt the vibrations run through her body. Kissing her pleased him, and she discerned that it would also please him if she returned the kiss. Again, she was rewarded with a whispered good girl in her ear.

He returned his gaze to her eyes. He wanted her, he had wanted her since he first realized she was more than just the little girl tagging along behind him, but he wouldn't just take her. He smiled at her. Then ran his hands up her arms and lifted her hands from the frame. Without any hesitation her arms went around his shoulders and she stretched up in order to kiss him. As if she could read his mind, she lifted her feet up to the cot, but kept her knees bent. With the newfound leverage, she lifted her hips up and towards him. Her answer to his unasked question was obvious.

He knew he was slightly larger than most men and regardless of how wet she might be, she had never been with a man before and would no doubt feel some pain. He slid the head between the lips of her sex, and counted to twenty until her body adjusted to his circumference. Their eyes were open, looking directly at one another. She bit her bottom lip, but made no show of wanting him to stop.

Once he reached twenty he pushed himself further into her until he could again feel resistance.. He had to count to thirty in order to not thrust all the way into her. He would have to push in with more force and once he did that, he wasn't certain that he would be able to hold back. She was just so tight and wet and receptive. Before he even got to twenty, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled down with them. He couldn't hold back, her urgings drove him mad, he thrust hard into her, breaking through the thin membrane and entering her completely. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. He saw the tear slip down her temple and bent down to kiss it.

He stayed fully sheathed inside of her, holding himself perfectly still until she relaxed. They started slow, hips moving together, just rocking back and forth. He didn't move in and out, instead he used the combination of sensations of her muscles and her tightness stimulate him. Her hands moved over his back and her eyes opened. Once more they held each other's gaze.

Their bodies melded together and moved in tandem. He wasn't sure how much longer he could last. The reality was so much better than his imagination, but he wanted her to climax with him. He wrapped an arm around her and deftly managed to flip them so that he was on his back and she knelt astride his hips. Gravity caused her to slide down just that little bit more and he brushed against her cervix. Her eyes widened at the sensation, but she didn't try to pull away to alleviate it, instead she ground her hips more firmly against him. He reached down between them and gently rubbed her clit with his thumb.

He saw her muscles in her stomach ripple and move downward until they tightened around him even more. Their gaze was locked now. Nothing was going to break it. Not even the orgasm slowly building in her. And especially not his own orgasm he was trying to stall. He knew a losing battle when he saw it and realized this was a battle he didn't mind losing. He rubbed her clit more vigorously and pressed harder against it.

Her breasts rose with each breath and her eyes dilated. She was so close and so was he. He grabbed her hips, digging his fingers into her flesh and thrust his hips up hard, all thoughts of gentleness being chased from his brain by the increasing need for release. He growled and pulled her down hard.

Whatever he did worked, he felt and saw the orgasm wash through her body. His own followed immediately after. He slid his hands up her back and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down to his chest. He kissed her again. It was a replay of their first kiss, tender, but firm. When she started to move, he tightened his arms around her, holding her in place. She stretched out her legs and laid down on top of him. He stroked her back and hair until he heard the even breathing of sleep. Careful not to shift her, he reached for a blanket and pulled it over them. Soon he followed her to sleep. He had softened, but was still hard enough not to slip out of her. When they woke up a few hours later, he was still inside of her. They continued to make love between their brief naps. The silence occasionally broken with him whispering 'good girl' into her ear.


	7. Bellona III

Yeah, you know how I said that Vulpes and Bellona were probably going to go to very dark places? Well this is the start of one of those times. This chapter is the lead-in for the next chapter where the sex is rough and just a little bit wrong. I feel like I should add that there is the potential for this to be very triggery.

If you are interested in reading the uncensored version, you can read it over at AO3. 

Vulpes watched me eat. Or pretend to eat. I knew that I should eat, that it wouldn't do to have my health put at risk by the petulant actions of a little girl. But I just couldn't make myself stick another piece of food in my mouth. There was no taste to the meat, or at least my mouth was incapable of tasting it. Vulpes was a very good cook, there was no way that the stew he had created was void of taste. The fault must be with me, and if the fault was with me it meant that I might not be the daughter of Mars. The daughter of Mars would be used to Death. My namesake was said to rally the men in the field, she was said to fight alongside the men. Her priests sacrificed their own blood to her and wars both started and ended at her temple.

I was not worthy of her name and I was not worthy to be called the daughter of Mars.

I looked back at the books. There had to be some way to see past Caesar's willful ignorance and it provided a pleasant distraction from the thoughts of the death of the man who I never actually loved as a father, but respected and appreciated. I didn't want to consider the fact that I had feelings for the man who had indirectly ordered the death of the man who was my father. I was moping. I knew I was moping.

Vulpes stare was too much. It always had been. Any other man and I would have slit him stem to sternum, but not Vulpes. I finally caved and at more of the dinner, but in a small act of defiance I continued to read from the pages in front of me.

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam. For the first in my life I was actually happy that education was so limited in the Mojave. I finally pushed my journal away and closed the books. The answer I needed most wouldn't be found in the books. We couldn't fight Lanius with edicts and words. I finished the food on my plate and then collected the empty plates to wash them.

Vulpes watched me again, I could feel his eyes on me. For most, his gaze was unnerving, but for me, his stare wrapped me in a shroud of comfort. I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him. I felt his hand on the middle of my back after I had returned the clean dishes to their place.

"Go to our room, Bellona."

I frowned at his dismissal, but silently followed his directive. However, I did not do so with grace. I leaned hard against the door until it closed behind me. After stripping my armor and setting it neatly in the corner of the room, I snatched the book by Tolkien and sat down on my bedroll. I hated it when he treated me as a child. Who was he to give me such directives? As I looked down to the open book in my lap I found my answer.

To mark our first year together and my nineteenth birthday, Vulpes marked me. Adorning each nipple was a delicate gold ring embellished with a the head of a fox at the base of the ring. Our relationship needed to remain hidden, but he had told me that the rings would represent his promise to me and my promise to him. That was four years ago. I was but a girl them, so enamored with the man that he could have convinced me of anything. My feelings hadn't lessened, I was still enamored with him and he could still convince me of anything, it just wasn't for the same reasons. Ubi amor ibi dolor.

I tried to focus on the words covering the page of the book. I couldn't. They danced around my vision, blending together and mocking me. Seriously, how many words does a man need to use to describe the home of a short man afflicted with hirsute feet? My timing was significantly off. I threw the book angrily across the room just as Vulpes opened the door. He watched the heavy volume rotate through the air, hit the wall, then fall to the floor. He didn't react to my overreaction. He closed the door behind him.

"Bell."

I knew that tone. It was the same tone he used when he was a Decanus and I had been found by Caesar. I hated that tone. I knew that I deserved it, I was acting like a child. But that acknowledgement didn't make me any happier.

He bent down and picked up the book, brushing it off and checking it for any damage. Without looking at me he returned the book to the shelf, taking care to place it in its proper place. I stared at him. I might not be able to cause men's sphincters to tighten from my glare, but then Vulpes had ten years of experience on me. When he was twenty three, he wasn't running away from the life and world he had known, he wasn't even in the frumentarii yet. He had no right to ruin my, admittedly immature, temper tantrum.

I crossed my arms under my breasts and narrowed my eyes. And yet he still refused to engage. He stripped off his armor and placed it neatly in the corner next to mine then sat down next to me on his bedroll.

"If you are angry with me, then the book does not deserve your ire."

I watched the amusement in his eyes and it only served to make me angrier. Ira furor brevis est. Before I realized it, my right arm swung back before bringing my open palm down hard against Vulpes' cheek. The sound of skin against skin broke through the silence and shattered his amusement. I had slapped him only once before. It was before my nineteenth birthday and he had walked upon me and Alerio laughing with one another. He had dragged me into his tent and was lecturing me on my behavior, likening it to that of a prostitute. I had slapped him only to shake him out of the downward cycle of jealousy and then immediately kissed him. Somehow I didn't think kissing him would abate the anger in his eyes that was slowly replacing the amusement.

Aut Caesar aut nihil. I raised my arm in preparation for another slap and he caught my wrist. Before I could twist out of his grasp, he twisted my arm behind my back. My vision went red. I channeled my namesake and became the Bellona whose priests mutilated themselves in her honor. I became the Bellona who rallied the soldiers into a frenzy. I turned into the Goddess of War whose only equal in battle was Mars. I kicked, I hit, and I bit. I have no memory of how Vulpes responded, but in the morning I wore as many bruises and bite marks as he did.

At one point, I know that he had his hands around my neck and my fists pounded into the sides of his head. My knees were in his chest and my fury gave me enough strength to push him off of me. The coppery taste of blood coated my mouth and I wiped the back of my hand across my lips. I crouched down and panted, trying to regain my breath, but I never let my gaze shift away from him.

Vulpes just stared at me with that smug little grin of his. His thoughts were easily read from his expression. He let me push him off. With a scream I bounced to my feet and charged, lowering my head and butting it against his stomach. Unfortunately the room was much too small to gain enough momentum to do more than cause him to take a few steps back. But it was all I needed. My fists hit his chest. And Vulpes stood there, bracing himself with his legs, while I used him as a punching bag.

As my anger returned to its carefully maintained box I normally kept locked, my voice of reason rose from the depths I had pushed it down into. I stopped hitting him and pressed my forehead against his chest.

"I am not a child, Vulpes."

"Then stop behaving as one." His arms wrapped around me, holding me closer to him.

We stood there in silence. Me on the verge of tears, and wanting to cry for myself, for the man I hated myself for calling father, for the men who had risked their lives to save me. He just held me and silently reassured me with his presence.

He scooped me up into his arms and walked the few steps back to our bedrolls. He straightened his out with a foot and gently set me down before he retrieved mine. During our fighting it had been kicked or pushed across the room. Once he had fixed my bedroll to his usual meticulous standards, he shifted me to it so his own bedroll could receive his same attentions.

I never understood his desire for everything to be perfect. His tent was always organized the exact same way and his table only held the items he used on a daily basis. Of course those items had specific spots and even the slightest shift from their position was noticed by him and immediately fixed. I test this out daily when I lived in his tent, before he moved me into my own.

I decided to try again. "I am not one of your Frumentarii, to command and order about."

He smirked. He actually smirked at me. Reason conquered anger, but I glared at him nonetheless.

He hooked his little finger under and through the ring in my right nipple and pulled me towards him. Complete resistance would mean pain, but a small show of defiance would remind him that I wasn't turning into the type of woman he would sneer at in derision.

"Et suppusitio nil ponit esse." He watched me move closer to him in order to lessen the tension.

"Auribus teneo Vulpem." I whispered the words as my mouth neared his. His tongue lashed out against my cheek to the corner of my mouth and my lips parted for him.

He kept his finger in the ring, tethering me to the place he wanted me, and used his other hand on the back of my head to pull my head nearer to him. He had not moved at all, I was the one coming to him and the symbolism was not lost on me.

He kissed me. It was a hungry kiss, like the ones I received when he returned to camp from a mission that had kept him away for days at a time. Normally, these kisses meant long hours of rediscovering one another, but I knew that this night would be different. I was about to learn a lesson and ad undas, I wanted him to teach it to me.

He finally released my mouth and freed my nipple. I took a breath. His lessons were always gentle, but simultaneously cruel. I loved and hated them, just as I loved and hated him. The first part of the lesson was simple. I had a choice. I just had to curl up against him or under my bedroll and we would go to sleep or submit to his will with grace. There was never a consequence for choosing not to submit with grace. The lack of consequence made the lesson even more difficult. He was right, I might say that I am not his to command, but time and time again, I willingly bowed to his demands.

With an enthusiastic resignation, I knelt in front of him. I positioned my body just as he had instructed me during our first year together. He leaned back against the wall with his arms behind his neck to pillow his head and looked at me. I looked into his eyes, hoping to find the spirit Pliny said lived there. Sometimes, when he let his guard completely down, I could catch a glimpse of it, but not this time. His eyes were the dark grey that hinted at both his lust and need. The lust I enjoyed, the need made me nervous. Tonight would be a hard lesson. His lips hinted at a smile. He enjoyed my supplication and he didn't bother hiding it from me.

While he looked at me, I looked at him. I studied the definition of his muscles. I admired the way his chest was perfect, just enough hair around his navel to prove his worth as a man, but not too much. if I didn't know better, I would have assumed that he shaped the hair on his body. It narrowed so nicely over his abdomen and led directly down past his navel. He wasn't just a handsome man, he was beautiful. There were times when I looked at the images of ancient statues or drawings in our books and could easily picture him as a model for a Roman artist.

He finally sat up and reached for his pack. I swallowed down my hesitations and willed the grace he demanded to emerge. I saw the blindfold in his hands and actually exhaled softly. Yet another thing I both loved and hated. I loved that it allowed me the freedom to get lost, but hated that it blocked out one of my most important senses.

Vulpes liked leather. Just as he had made my scourge, he had made this blindfold. It fit perfectly against my eyes and blocked out all light as well as my sight when he buckled it into place. After my eyes were covered, I opened my mouth expecting the gag. In camp, when we had to be careful about noise, he had crafted a gag for me, so that I could make as much noise as I wanted without fear of discovery. Instead of the usual pressure against my lips, I felt his finger on my chin, closing my mouth.

"Not tonight, mea Bellona. Tonight, you will make as much noise as you wish without fear of repercussion." His lips pressed against mine again and I closed my eyes behind my blindfold. I might not have fully comprehended it before, but the message was abundantly clear. He even had command of my voice, dictating when it was heard and when it was silent.

I heard the noises of him rummaging in his bag again. I expected him to return to me with whatever item he had procured, but instead I heard him at the edges of the room. And then more silence. I grew nervous from the anticipation of what I could expect next. My mind drove me to places of depravity and pain, and yet when he did touch me, his hands were gentle. He helped me to stand and then without removing his touch from me he fastened the leather bands, again crafted by him, to my wrists and ankles.

Hate and love, everything about Vulpes Inculta was bound and twisted around love and hate, and his tools of instruction were no exception. I hated the restraint, but loved the freedom the restraint gave me. I hated the way my body betrayed my feelings, but loved the responses encouraged by his attentions. Vulpes knew this. He admitted to me that he loved to observe the internal struggle, the war waging within me knowing what the outcome would always be.

After the bands were in place he attached them to the tethers, I assumed he had attached them to the wall somehow and was. I was trying to figure out how he had fastened them, when the answer became clear. My legs were pulled apart and my arms were stretched to my sides and low enough that the only way I would be comfortable was if I was bent at the waist.

I felt his fingers in my hair, unfastening the braid and combing through the strands. I sensed him kneeling in front of me, and when his hand pressed against my cheek and leaned into his touch.

"I have one last thing, mea Bellona. You haven't seen it yet, and if after you have tried it, you decide you want it, you only need say the words. If you are silent I will remove it." His voice was so soft, so gentle and caring. It did not belong to the man who had restricted my movement with the intention of eventually fucking me.

I groaned softly. The voice was gentle, but the words were cruel. I would have to give words to my submission to him, I would have to state clearly to him that I wanted it. Love and hate. I scent of newly crafted leather assault my senses and then I felt something tighten around my throat. He had made a band for my neck. He was putting a collar around my neck.

The hate was clear and very loud in my mind. I was not a dog, a bitch to be collared. But then the love tentatively pressed against the boundaries of hate. When it didn't find resistance it pushed itself in. I would find more freedom with even more restraint.

His hand returned to my cheek, and his thumb stroked my cheek bone. At least I wouldn't have to look in his eyes.

"I want to keep it." I didn't exactly whisper the words, but then neither did I speak them loudly.

"What do you want to keep, mea Bellona?" His voice and thumb were so gentle, so comforting.

"I want to keep the new band." I couldn't say collar.

He must have realized this, because he just leaned down and kissed me. I was melting into his kiss when he pulled away and I heard those two little words that sent a warmth out from my sex to every nerve ending on my body.

"Good girl."

His touch was gone. I sensed him moving around, but gave up on anticipating his next move. That was part of the lesson. I was merely along for the ride, and the sooner I gave in and allowed my mind to relax the sooner and greater the pleasure I would receive.

I shouldn't have given in so quickly. My head was firmly pulled back and not by his hand. He had attached a tether to the band around my neck so that my neck was bent backwards.

I willed myself not to test or struggle against the bindings. He would teach the lesson as he saw fit, and I would accept his instruction with grace.

He ran his fingers down my side and back up my spine to my neck. I could feel their pressure against the band and his breath against my ear. "Ubi amor, ibi dolor."

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam – _Either I will find a way, or I will make (one). _  
Ubi amor ibi dolor – _Where there is love, there is pain. I don't think that there is a better description of the relationship between Bellona and Vulpes; which means you can expect to see this phrase repeated._  
Ira furor brevis est. – _Anger/wrath is brief madness. (In this case, Vulpes' last command was the tipping point for Bellona. She probably isn't capable of holding a grudge against him and this thought is just an acknowledgement of her limit being reached and needed to lash out.) _  
Aut Caesar aut nihil. – _Either Caesar or nothing; go for broke. In this case, Bellona crossed a line in Vulpes' eyes, she knew it, and figured (accurately) there was no real way to backpedal. _  
Et suppusitio nil ponit esse - _And a supposition puts nothing to being; saying doesn't make it so – Bellona can say that she is not his to command, but they both know it isn't true._  
Auribus vulpem teneo - _I hold a fox by the ears; (from auribus lupum teneo – I hold a wolf by the ears) Both continuing to hold on or letting go is dangerous. In this case, Bellona stays holds on to Vulpes and risks losing herself, or lets go and risks being lost._  
Ad undas - _to the waves (to hell)_


	8. Bellona IV

I decided to not post an explicit chapter here because it would have taken way too much editing and the tone of the story would have drastically changed. It is posted over at AO3 and you can find it here

I decided that Bellona needed another woman around, a literary foil. I love the idea of respect through rivalry (blatantly ripped off from Dragon Age/Mass Effect), and of all the Fallout Characters, Rose is the only one I believe that Bellona would have a grudging respect for and that Rose would have a reluctant admiration for Bellona. This is also the first time where we see evidence of the Courier as an antagonist equal to Lanius. This chapter deals with the explicit aftermath of rape. It is not a sweet chapter, it is dark and if I did my job well, it will be uncomfortable. We also get to see a side of Bellona that I never planned. This is first time where I let her internal dialogues run away, so this chapter might be very sloppy.

The next morning, as we were planning out our plans for the day, Lucius looked between the bruise on my jaw and Vulpes' black eye.

Vulpes grimaced and spoke under his breath, but I could still hear him. "Consequences."

Lucius just shrugged his shoulders. "Even money said that you would be dead, so it looks like you actually came out ahead." He pushed Vulpes to the foodstuffs and turned to inventorying our goods.

I couldn't help myself, and partially because of Vulpes, I laughed. It was clear that both men were surprised from my burst of joy, but Vulpes smiled his gentle smile for me. No matter what was happening around us, he would keep me whole, I just had to accept that it was so.

I returned to my studies. My father, not Caesar, but the man who I had been born to, used to tell me the tales of Ancient Rome. One of which was about the tale of the assassination of Caesar by Brutus. Despite it being fitting, it wasn't exactly the tale I wanted to send out into the Mojave. When I woke up that morning, I knew that I needed to do. We needed to create a legend, a tale of propaganda to create doubt in the minds of the men of the Legion under Lanius. Lanius would become a legend, but it would be one of infamy. We had the Frumentarii, and they would be the perfect instruments to disseminate the tales which would eventually lead to the demand of his death. I just had to find the right emperor to shape him after.

"Caligula." I could smell the biscuits being fried and my mouth watered. I hadn't realized how hungry I was.

"What?" Vulpes looked at me.

"Caligula, he was so hated that his own Praetorian guards assassinated him. He started out loved, but succumbed to madness before a single year of his reign had passed." I jumped to my feet and ran to our room. I kept an old book, one that belonged to my biological father, in the bottom of my pack and I needed it. When I returned I noted that Lucius had put his task aside and Vulpes was only paying half attention to our breakfast.

I bent down and picked at a piece of meat frying in the pan, popping it into my mouth without thought of its heat or the swat to my hand with the back of the spoon delivered by Vulpes. "Is breakfast ready?" I smiled sweetly. I might have accepted my lesson with grace during the night, but that did not mean that grace accompanied me during the day.

Vulpes looked up at me and wiggled his eyebrows in a way that could only be described as lewd. I just smirked and turned on my heel and walked back to the books, moving my hips from side to side in the exaggerated movements I had seen in other women.

"Lucius?"

"Hmm?"

"How loyal are the Praetorian Guards to you versus Lanius?" My mind was racing with possibilities. If we could just get the stories of Caligula into the camp, it would be natural for everyone to compare Caligula to Lanius. Even how Caligula supposedly exiled or killed those he thought were threatening to his rule.

"If they're still alive?"

Lucius spoke so softly, I winced. I had been so concerned with my own grief that I hadn't bothered to think of the others. Of course Lanius would have had them executed, just as I would have his Praetorian Guard executed when Vulpes was crowned.

"We will find those who managed to escape, Lucius. I promise you."

Vulpes smiled sadly at me, he figured that most of his Frumentarii were safe, Lucius could only assume that a few of his men were safe.

"We need to plant some seeds, Vulpes. You're men, especially those in New Vegas, will be perfect. I grinned up at them. "Gentlemen, we are in…"

I never finished the sentence, an inside terminal started ringing an alarm and we jumped to our feet and charged up the hall to the inner vault door. Vulpes and Lucius had pistols drawn and I stayed back with a sniper rifle. Vulples looked back at me and nodded his head. He punched something into the terminal by the door and it started its slow slide open. As soon as I saw the Frumentarii, I lowered the rifle and turned back to return to the large room.

I looked over at our breakfast and quickly mixed it so that it didn't burn to the bottom of the pan. I may have also nudged it with my knee so that the biscuits weren't lingering in the fire. I heard their voices, but couldn't make out distinct words. Perhaps I just wasn't paying enough attention, since in retrospect, I am unsure how I missed it.

The three Frumentarii were expected. I had seen them at least. The red headed woman behind them was not expected. I hadn't even made myself comfortable before I was back to my feet. I didn't care much which frumentarius I went after, so chose expediency. I managed to lengthen my stride enough to shorten the time it took to reach the nearest one.

My palms slammed into his chest and he stumbled backwards. I kept on slamming my hands against his chest until his back was against the wall. "What the fuck were you thinking?" My forearm went under his chin, pinning him in place.

"She was lurking out there."

"So you wait, you fucking wait until she's gone." I glared at Vulpes, whose eyes had gone hard and jaw was clenched tightly. "I thought you trained your men better than this." I dropped my arm from his neck, but pulled it back and made a fist. The sound of my fist hitting his jaw was satisfying, if short-lived.

I finally gave my attentions to the woman. Whatever further punishment I had for the men flittered away from my thoughts. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and not from sleepless nights. Her hair looked stringy, even beneath the hat. But it was the pallor of her skin that set me on edge. It was grey. She looked as though she could have been dead.

"Ad undas!" She was watching me with wide eyes. Something about what I had said or done must have surprised her, but neither of us were in a position to discuss it. "Did you get her weapons?"

I huffed at the other Frumentarii until they nodded. "Are you certain? Because one of you is about to cut her loose and if you didn't, you can be fairly certain that she's going to use whatever you didn't find against you." I crossed over to stand next to Vulpes. "And we will let her."

Vulpes crossed his arms over his chest and raised his chin. He just looked at the men.

"Maybe we should look again."

"You don't say." He returned to making breakfast.

I saw something in her eyes. I wasn't sure if it was fear or hate or a combination of both, but her entire body went rigid as one of the Vulpes' men moved search her body. "Wait."

I studied the woman's face. Rose of Sharon Cassidy. Her namesake was a character from a book sitting on the shelf in our room. I raised a finger at the men. "No one touches her. No one moves." The last statement was for her. I was fairly certain of what had happened to her, I just didn't know who had done it. I grabbed the book off the shelf and dug around in my pack for a change of clothing. I found the items I wore when traveling undercover with caravans and figured she would feel most comfortable in them.

When I returned to the main room, Vulpes had started dishing up breakfast and Lucius had returned to his inventorying, but the Frumentarii hadn't moved. I stopped when I was immediately in front of her.

"Gabban is going to release you. Do me a favor and keep your eyes on me while he does it." I wasn't sure if she understood me, but she at least recognized the words and nodded her head. When Gabban stepped behind her to cut the ropes holding her wrist together and hobbling her ankles, she stared at me.

I tilted my head towards the wall housing the room Vulpes and I slept in. "Come on." I turned my back to her and started leading her towards the door next to ours. Almost as an afterthought I looked over my shoulder at her. "You probably already know, but if you try anything, there are five men who will kill you. In fact two of them have their weapons aimed at you."

"Never sed ya'll were dumb." Her voice bristled behind me.

I stopped at the doorway and let her go in first. "I'll find you a bedroll." I put the clothing and book on the shelf on the wall. "Do you want to wash?"

She looked at me and blinked her eyes a few times, but eventually nodded her head.

"I can't let you leave. You know that right?"

Again she nodded her head. My eyes narrowed. This was not the woman described in tales. This wasn't even the woman I had had occasional interactions with. I had a suspicion about what had happened, but her lack of response drove my suppositions to depths I wasn't sure I wanted to delve into.

"I will make you a promise. You will not be harmed while you are here. In any way." Again the vacant nodding of her head. It completely unnerved me. She was supposed to have a mouth that would make any man wince, and yet she was silent. I tried to smile for her benefit, but knew it looked fake. "I'll get you something with which to wash."

I mostly closed the door as I stepped out. I didn't leave it ajar because I didn't trust her, which I didn't, I left it ajar because I didn't want her to think we would lock her in the room. With a deep breath, I walked over to Vulpes. He held a biscuit up to me and lifted a brow. I took the offered treat and just shook my head. We'd have to discuss it later. "I told her I would get her water to wash up with. Will we be able to get more?"

"Cato headed to the bath to see if there were any risks. Can it wait?"

I wasn't sure how to respond to him. He thought it was just to wash off dust, but I knew that it was a cleansing. So no, it really couldn't wait. I gripped his wrist and pulled myself down so that my lips were near his ear. "What's the worst thing that could happen to me?"

He smiled reassuringly and covered my hand with his. "I will never leave you, mea Bellona."

I closed my eyes and breathed out of my nose. I finally gathered enough reason not to point out that only a man would think a woman being left is the worst thing she could experience. "Literally, Vulpes, what is the worst thing that you imagine happening to me."

The words clicked into place, the image of Rose of Sharon helped. His eyes narrowed and it was all I could do to keep him from jumping to his feet.

"I don't think it was your men." I had to hiss at him. For all that Vulpes and I were recognized for, he was never accused of rape. I don't think anyone actually considered what it might mean. The Desert Fox, Vulpes Inculta, sadist and leader of the Frumentarii had never been accused of rape. The Legion under Caesar wasn't exactly without its faults, but Vulpes did not share in at least one of them. Vulpes walked off towards what I assumed were the showers.

I had no desire to return to Rose just yet. She was a reminder to me that a woman in this world, no matter how strong, was never as strong as a man. It wasn't something I wanted to dwell on. I glared at Gabban and Callias. They weren't dumb men, I knew that, I had run missions with them, and yet their stupidity in this instance was incredibly dangerous.

"Did she have a pack with her?" I asked Callias. He picked up a pack resting against the wall and handed it to me.

I quickly made up two plates of breakfast and brought them and the packs to Rose's room. Although I knocked, I didn't wait for her to answer. After all, she wasn't a guest here. I handed one of the plates to her and then leaned back against the wall to eat from my own plate.

"Vulpes is checking to see how long it will take to get the showers working."

Again she just nodded her head. I looked down at her. "Rosa Campi Cassidus"

She looked up at me. "What?"

"Your name in Latin, well sort of. There is no word for Sharon so I went with its Hebrew meaning and I gave your last name a Latin bend, but it's actually wrong."

"Does that make me a Legion?"

I snorted at her. "Hardly, besides, I doubt that the Empire will be tolerable for lushes."

"No, they prefer sadists."

"Don't forget murderers." I picked at the hash Vulpes had made. I nodded to the book I had left on the shelf. "Your namesake is a character in that book."

"How would you even know what I was named after?" She hadn't eaten any of the food, but at least she stopped staring vacantly at me.

"There is really only one Rose of Sharon someone this far West would be named after." I added, almost as an afterthought, "she's a good woman."

Rose just shrugged her shoulders.

"You should eat."

Again, another shrug of her shoulders. Balancing the plate on one hand, I rubbed the back of my neck with another. I wasn't sure how to broach the subject, but I knew I had to. It wasn't for her benefit, I needed to know for my own benefit.

"Any chance you'll tell me why you aren't by the Courier's side at the camp?"

She didn't need to respond. Her eyes closed and I watched her breathing even out. The Courier did this? This information wasn't something I had expected, but there was a small part of me that wasn't surprised. The Courier was closer to Vulpes and me than he let others know. He worked hard to hide it, but he massacred and left a similar trail of destruction in his wake. The only difference was that he tried to hide it behind a charming façade. Vulpes and I might be sociopaths, but the Courier was a psychopath.

I slid down the wall. I wasn't sure how to respond. "I don't have any medication, but I could send Cato out to gather some herbs. I could make you a tea."

"I don't like you."

"Despite all your charm and wit, I find you as distasteful."

"But you were a better choice than Lanius." Once her words started there was no stopping them. "I told him as much, and he laughed at me. I asked him where you were, and Lanius got mean. The Courier didn't stop him from… taking it out on one of the slaves. When I tried to get the Courier to stop it, he just laughed." She looked up at me and despite all my feelings of dislike for her, my heart broke for her. Rosa Campi was in love with the Courier. "He said I was next."

I waited in silence. There were no words of comfort I could give her that would come close to assuaging her pain.

"I don't think I remember much."

I put the food down, whatever appetite Vulpes had brought about in me was dampened by her admission.

"Then I was at Novac and I was walking away from Vegas." The plea in her eyes was so obvious. She just wanted to get as far away from it as possible, she needed to get as far away from every hint of the Courier.

I am not sure what emotions overcame me just then, I have a feeling it was just the compulsion to let a woman know that despite everything that might have happened to her, she was safe. I slid across the floor and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her. I cannot even begin to explain her motivations, the reason why she collapsed on to me and just cried. Her arms tightened around me and loud sobs wracked through her body.

We sat together in her room. Me holding her. She crying. Neither of us felt a need to pull away, even when Vulpes quietly pushed the door open and looked in on his. If he was surprised, I didn't see it. He looked between the two of us and nodded his head once before walking away.

I gently pulled away from her, "Rosa Campi, the shower's ready." I slowly stood up, took the clothes in one hand and her hand in my other hand. I pulled up her unresisting body and quietly led her towards the bathroom.

"I still hate you, you sick fuck." There was no vitriol in her words.

"And I still lack respect for you, lush." I tried to at least be gentle with my insult.

Once in the bathroom I made to leave, but she stopped me. "Please."

I understood. She didn't want to be alone. I could have been a deathclaw and she would have asked me to stay. I nodded my head. I made myself busy folding up the clothing I had brought for her to change into. I looked down at my own leather armor and decided that I might as well be comfortable too. Once she finished her shower, I would find something to change into. I might have given her one of my disguises (only a handful of people outside of the Camp could actually describe either Vulpes or me, but I could piece together another one between Vulpes and me.

When I turned back around she had stripped. I had to staunch the desire to vomit. The Courier wasn't the only one who had abused her. Lanius had marked her arms and legs with cuts from a curved blade. They were the markings of the priests of Bellona made in sacrifice before war. He blasphemed my namesake. The worst though was that she was bleeding from between the legs. This wasn't the natural blood of a menses, this was the bleeding from a wound.

"Rose of Sharon." I whispered at her and tried to pull my gaze away from her beaten body. "We need to get you medical care."

She sat down in the dirty shower and sobbed again. The water washed over her skin, but it wouldn't wash away the sensations only she could feel. I was helpless to do anything for her. I couldn't leave her alone, but at the same time I needed to do something, anything really. "I will be right back. I promise."

I ran down the hallway. For the second time in as many days anger blinded my vision. I ripped a piece of paper from my journal and stopped before I wrote a quick message. I knew that the doctor friend of the Courier would be able to help, would actually want to help, I just had to figure out how to convey all the information without revealing anything.

The men were staring at me, but only Vulpes dared approach. I was crouching, so I had to look up at him. "Arcade, does he know Greek?"

"The language? No."

"The histories?"

"Not sure, I would say no, but he does know Latin."

"So does Lanius."

I decided to risk it and wrote a very quick message. '_There is a Lucretia in need of assistance from one of the twelve tribes. Treatment of the crimson plus will be respected._' I only hoped that he would be able to read between the lines. I folded the paper in half and walked over to Cato.

"Find Arcade, give him this, and bring him back here." He held on to the piece of paper, but before I gave it over to him. "Do not use any threats. Just tell him his friend needs him and he will be safe."

"He doesn't trust any Legion." Cato looked at me like I had possibly gone mad.

"And he will trust the Courier even less now that he has allied himself with Lanius." I leaned in close so that only he could hear the rest of my directions. "Tell him curettage."

Cato didn't react as quickly as I might have hoped, he even dared to look past me to Vulpes. I refused to look over my shoulder, so I can only assume that Vulpes nodded assent because suddenly Cato saluted with a fist to his chest and was out the door. Callias followed behind to lock the door behind him.

I ignored the questioning glances and headed to our room. I knew Vulpes would follow and I wasn't sure if it was something I wanted or not. As I dug through our packs, he closed the door behind him.

"The prolifigate?"

"Raped." I didn't even know how to describe the abuses I saw on her body.

"Did she tell you who?"

"She doesn't remember, but from what I can piece together, first the Courier and then Lanius." I couldn't pull my armor off fast enough. It just reminded me so much of the Legion and for the next few moments I needed to get as far from any member of the Legion as possible. I pulled on one of Vulpes' shirts and buttoned it up. "He marked her, Vulpes. He practiced a sacred mutilation of Bellona." Again, I have to squash the urge to vomit.

I found a pair of denim pants and pulled them on, tucking the shirt into the waist. Vulpes picked up my discarded armor, setting it down neatly in the corner and out of the way. Another few seconds digging around in a pack and I found an old shirt that could be ripped up. When I stood up to leave, he pressed his hands on my shoulders, holding me still for a moment.

"Is it wise to bring another outsider here?" He voice was patient, and he wasn't critical or chastising.

"Probably not, but at this point, we can't really afford to walk away from a potential ally." I looked up at him. "I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but now that it's happened and she's here. We can use it."

His fingertips smoothed over the creases in the shirt while he considered my words. He eventually seemed satisfied and bent down to kiss my forehead. "Sic infinit."

"Non progredi regredi est."

"Scio." His fingers tightened on my shoulders and I pressed my head against his chest. He touch was warm to my skin.

"He used a sacred ritual to cause harm to another. Not to mention everything else." I looked up at him. "She's bleeding, Vulpes."

"Go then." But still he didn't let go. Instead he pressed his lips hard against mine, kissing me with a ferocity that lacked passion, but filled my heart nonetheless. He was thinking what I was thinking. But manu Martis it wasn't me. "Te amo."

"Te plus amo."

I reluctantly pulled away from him and hurried back to the showers. I felt like I had already been gone too long.

Rosa Campi Cassidus - _(the/a) Rose of the Plain Cassidy (dog Latin)_  
Sic infinit - _And so it begins_  
Non progredi regredi est - _To not go forward is to go backward_  
Scio - _I know_  
manu Martis _(by the) hand of Mars_  
Te amo - _I love you_  
Te plus amo - _I love you more_


End file.
